Simply Peggy's Mommies-N-Babies Page

Has your relationship with your partner changed since the birth of your child/ren?

If so: Is it better or worse than ever?

Do you feel that he does not appreciate you and all that  you do, now that you are a stay at home mom?

Is money a reason you fight?

Or have you been there, done that ..and overcame these issues and would like to share how ?

Oh Geez...At first it strenghtened our relationship. Then he became so neurotic about the children. Literally, the baby could pass gas and he would freak out because it did not smell right! lol...He is still like that...he still worries about the little things...Bobby could skin his knee and Bob will still freak out! It gets tiring and aggrivating!! We definately fight about money too...doesn't everyone? He is the one that makes the money...I am the one who spends it and pays bills...he does not know how much is in our account unless he asks for money and I either grant him his wish or not!! lol...he is also a high stress person..He has no patience and...well...the kids tango on every last one of our nerves!!

at 04:09AM on Jul 10, 2009

Has your relationship with your partner changed since the birth of your child/ren?

If so: Is it better or worse than ever?

Do you feel that he does not appreciate you and all that  you do, now that you are a stay at home mom?

Is money a reason you fight?

Or have you been there, done that ..and overcame these issues and would like to share how ?

 

It did, then it didn't. It was so long ago that it takes a moment to remember the "issues" of the day. My husband was also excited about the birth of our first child....a SON! Until that first dirty diaper. Of course the fact that hubby dearest found out the most important "Mommy Rule" after Junior nailed him with his golden flow might have contributed to his new found reluctance to have anything to do with the domestic, nurturing responsibilities of parenthood. Wasn't bringing in his monetary contribution enough???

In a two-income family when one member works their day job and comes home to sit around or go fishing and the other member is left to clean house, cook meals, pay bills, tend to the child, get up ALL NIGHT with said child....besides also working their day job....hhhmmmmm animosity abounds. And anger, frustration, decreased sex drive, you get the picture.

How does a working mom (or stay at home mom) deal with a partner who wants to continue living their before baby life? As mothers we have all of these new feelings for this wonderful miracle we have given birth to, and can't quite understand why our partner doesn't feel the same way. Everything we do revolves around this helpless little being, so it's easy to get upset with the "adult" who CAN ACTUALLY fend for themselves. What to do?

If you're a strong, secure and PATIENT person, you may be able to wait your partner out. This can sometimes take quite a long time....say 5 or 6 years until Junior is able to actively play the games that dad wants to play. If you aren't that patient, you may find yourself involved in arguments where you try to persuade your partner to see things from your perspective....sometimes this even works! (Never in my case, but oh well).

I'm not here to try and give anyone else any advice because each individual and family situation is different. I will say, remember WHY you wanted to have a child and also remember what JOY you feel when you look at the baby and into the eyes of the person who helped you create this wonderful human being. There is nothing to compare to those feelings - EVER.

I'm just here for comic relief. Enjoy your child/children (until they're teenagers and you just want to kill them), play with them when they want to play, read to them, crawl on the floor with them, throw them on the bed and have a tickle party....and when you're older and they don't have time for you any more, remember those times and smile. 

hmmmmm I don't think my husband has changed much. I had a two year old when we met so when we had another child 9 years later things were pretty routine here. But he is as good as I figured he would be. The best thing about having the second child is that my husband felt that he was already a dad even though he missed those first 2 years (and on and off for 2 more being deployed and such) so he got to see first hand what being pregnant and delivering and caring for a newborn was like. And he is so glad to have gotten to now.

I do feel he appreciates me, we had a very good relationship for 6 1/2 years before I got pregnant with our son so we had a good foundation before that big event.

Since we are not super young money is not much of an issue so that usually is not much of an issue for us. It was hard for me to adjust to not working and not "contributing financially"in that sense but it has been nice to be able to be home full time.

I guess I feel like we were always parents in our relationship so it was pretty easy when we had our son together. Since my first son was 2 when we met I guess he just kindof melted into our family and followed my lead. Thankfully my oldest son has always adored him and we have always been an extremely happy and functional family.

So as long as communication is open and you are friends as well as partners and parents you can overcome alot.